I Didn't Have A Chance To Say Good Bye. So I Thought I'd Write One.
July 4th 2015
Flight Chicago to San Fransisco.
Where do I begin. As I stare out the window of a plane I try...but now I can't help myself but to cry. I look out at an infinite horizon line reflecting back on a whole lot of time. Times that helped to mold me.Wisdom that shaped me. Times that taught me a foundation.Times & stories that helped me to realize my own adventure. If there is anything in life that I hold above all else it's family. My dear grandmother Joan has just passed away.
It seems like just yesterday when I was sitting in her hallway getting lost in her collection of national geographics dreaming about doing creating my own stills and stories one day. It seems like it was just yesterday where she introduced me to artists like Georgia O'Keefe,Michelangelo, N.C. Wyeth and oh so many more. It seems like it was just yesterday where I would listen to her say her lil sangs and sing & hum her beautiful songs.It seems like it was just yesterday where simple phone calls to say hello how ya doing would turn into long discussions about cinema,or hear her tell her old stories from Chicago's golden glory days.It seems like it was just yesterday where I would just sit for hours and just listen to her tell her past like a composer gracefully guiding lyric opera orchestra.
There are so amany things I'll miss about my dear grandmother again where do I begin.If I may just go back & paint this storied scene.As glitter from the past still finds its way into my heart really fast at a time like this.
She was 1 of 10 from Chicago's South Side.The daughter of a hard working Chicago stock yard man and a lovely woman who both chose to raise their big irish family in the Parish of St. Gabriel. The second oldest who worked incredibly hard throughout her childhood & into her adult life caring for her family & carving her way. One who taught me the value of a great work ethic.One who taught me how to be tough but compassionate at the very same time. A realist who believed in the power of dreaming itself but then also realizing you have the potential to dream,be & live whatever you'd like. That any time wasted is time left unlived.A woman who was fond of poets and painters. A woman who understood the gift of great writers. A lady who truly loved cinema. A natural born leader, a pillar of strength...she was in every definition of the word a special and original star.Her light shined very brightly.Bright enough to know that it was there from a million miles away.Now I'm sure she now sways swirling in the wind over the rainbow. That was one of her favorite songs. Somewhere over the rainbow & I'm sure that is where she now glows. This is just what I like to think and imagine.Maybe someday the same place that I hope to go.
It's amazing how much an impact someone can have on your life. You know it while it's happening. You are just aware the whole time as now I sit here starring out this plane window above the clouds watching them slowly sail by. I'm 30,000 feet above ground and closer. My guardian.One thing is for sure. My force field just got a lot stronger.
She met my grandfather (Richard E. Bolger) while working her way up in Chicago's mighty political scene. She was involved in the very first mayoral campaign that had Richard Daley in it. Another Richard. This one being Richard J. Daley. She pounded the pavement, hustled the phone lines and helped to raise large amounts of money that helped to put Chicago on a new path to prosperity.The car dealerships, the fancy hotel parties of business leaders & political lions. Everyone who's who in the great City of Chicago.Even Hollywood who would tell her she belonged in the movies.She did...she totally did.My grandmother had a unique gift. She had the ability to see and tell a story.She could dance she could sing she could tap into that unique performer brain of hers.But make no mistake...it wasn't an act it was all real.In my eyes she's totally an artist.She was political, she was well versed in a lot of areas and ways. She was a powerful force.I'm sure in another life she was Lucile Ball who maybe could have even been better then the great ones. In my eyes....she was. She totally was.She never forgot her love for Cinema.
Growing up she was my Encyclopedia for The Golden Age of Filmmaking.She knew about all the Great Artists. She saw every movie she could anytime she had the opportunity to watch & enjoy them. Up until her death the Turner Classic Movie Channel was certainly one of her favorites.She would tell me about these talented directors, these great actors, she would depict scenes and examine songs. She would never neglect the basics either. The Story, The Stage, The Scenes.
She collected Art. Admired Art & Respect Art.She Introduced Me To Art.I Grew Up Drawing Cartoon Characters in her breakfast room.She taught me so much. She did so much, gave so much and I always did and former love so much for all of it.She helped me to get into my first ever gallery show when I was in 2nd grade. She taught me it was ok to be an artist. That I could and but more importantly that I should.She was my buddy.She helped me get my first piece or art published in the newspaper.
It was quite a different time back then especially for woman. She was a trailblazer. She took life by the horns and she made her trails beam in so many ways across so many aspects of her life.I'll say that some are engulfed with life. Some are engulfed in life. Some see the angle & they know how to connect the dots even when when most others only just see dots. My grandmother saw dots but she also saw the solutions. She saw opportunities to affect change and she went after them and made beautiful things happen.
Her Love For Art Was Something I Admired. She knew about so many artists, about so many works both visual and otherwise.She had a true admiration for Georgia O'Keeffe. She use to show me her books when I was like 4 until I grew up and was able to be trusted and old enough to appreciate the books myself.She would talk about her midwestern roots - her journey to the west and her beautiful art work. My grandma would light up when she would talk about art and artists that she admired. She was funny, deep and I'll miss that all very much. We would phone each other and talk for hours about everything. I would pick her brain listen to her teachings and honestly just enjoy the grandmother grandson relationship - something I've always held very close to me.
This Paining Above Changed My Life. The First Ever Art Book I Ever Received Was N.C. Wyeth.
This Painting When I Would Look At It When I Was A Kid Always Reminded Me To Dream.
What A Powerful Piece!
What A Beautiful Idea
Like Now This Is A Painting.
Dear Monsignor McGovern, my husband Danny Mazzanti gave me the news that you are able to perform the service for my Mother Joan Sheldon on Sunday, 7/5 at De Young's at 1:00. We are so appreciative since we know you are very busy. Danny also mentioned that you would like some background on my Mom. She was born on 12-11-29 in Chicago, IL where she was raised by her parents Jim and Mary Kelly on the South Side of Chicago. She was named after Joan of Arc and she personified the warrior spirit of the saint until her last day. She was the third of 10 siblings, 8 girls, 2 boys, who grew up in a mostly Irish Catholic neighborhood. She helped care for her younger siblings and went to work at a young age to earn money to help her family.
Joan cherished her high school years where she was in the drama club and at some point thought about a career in acting. She was also fascinated with chemistry and she admired Madame Maria Curie being that Curie was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize. My mom taught us all about Curie's research growing up. Joan self-taught herself in the arts and became a fan of the Impressionist artists. She went on to paint as an adult and I still have several of her oil paintings today. She visited museums in France to see her favorite artists and talked about that trip for years after.
Joan attended a community college for a few years and pursued office jobs until eventually becoming a secretary to Morris B. Sachs, who owned one of the finest clothing stores in all of Chicago during the 1950s. Before she died on 6/25/15, she told me it was a wonderful job where she was also introduced to Chicago politics. Sachs ran for and was elected Treasurer of Chicago. My mom was also introduced to Mayor Richard Daley where she worked as his secretary on occasion. She was extremely proud of both jobs.
She later got a secretarial job in advertising where at the firm of Compton she met my father Bob Sheldon in Chicago. It was a great marriage where they eventually made their way to Southern California. They loved to explore nature together visiting several national parks during their marriage with my brother and me. My dad did woodworking as a hobby and Joan often helped him build things in the garage. They even had a toy business on the side called Gem Toys where my dad handcrafted various educational toys. Joan's first marriage resulted in the birth of my brother Jere Bolger who currently lives in Chicago. Jere can tell you more tomorrow about his life with my mom.
My father Bob eventually became Marketing Director for the CA Milk Advisory Board where they moved to Modesto and raised my brother and me in the early 1970s. It was a tough adjustment for a big city girl to live in the Central Valley, but she grew to love it eventually proclaiming that she would never live anywhere else. She grew fond and learned of, the dairy industry which was the center of my dad's career. She stayed at home to raise me but became involved with the Republican Women's Group in Modesto and would volunteer for various political campaigns at a local and national level. Joan was always a great writer & avid reader and began to write editorials that were published in various newspapers. Her favorite article was about her Irish heritage which was so important to her. Many times she talked about how her relatives immigrated and worked to improve their lives in the US. St. Patrick's Day was a huge holiday for her, celebrating the American Irish culture. My dad passed away 23 years ago and I never expected my mom to be as independent as she was for so many years after. She moved to a condo in Modesto where she had great neighbors watching over her through the years which helped me a lot with my job and kids makng it tough to balance at times. Her neighbors adored my mom. It was very hard for her to leave her condo and give up her independence.
Her son had four children, Richard, Ryan, Amanda & Alexandria "Alex."-Richard her first grandchild, is deceased which was extremely traumatic for her and something she never got over. He passed away in his mid-20s. Richard was a successful Chicago artist. I have two children, Donovan and Claire which she spent an enormous amount of time with teaching them to read, write & to appreciate art and stick to their set of values. One of the greatest contributions to her grandchildren and her nephews and nieces who she also loved and adored, was her love of reading and writing. She continued to write my son Donovan in college up until two weeks before her death. Donovan's best memory of my mom is that he learned that not only is writing an educational tool but it is a form of true artistic expression. He learned a lot from her writing and it has helped him greatly in college. My daughter Claire will remember her Grandma as 'witty and pretty' and someone who taught her "to be strong & successful as a woman, but always still be a woman at heart." My daughter Claire sings and plays guitar and credits her Grandma for her musical talent since my mom always sang Irish lullabies to her kids.
Her other grandson Ryan learned from my Mom that it is okay to dream and no dream is too big She always encouraged Ryan, a photographer, to pursue the arts and was always teaching him life's lessons and to never quit. She wasn't just a Grandmother to him but was also a friend. Her granddaughter Amanda has fond memories of fishing with my mom at the lake in Indiana and visits to her home in California. My mother loved to fish and was good at it. Her granddaughter Alex remembers having tea parties with Grandma and believes my mom had a heart of gold and an elegance and grace that was indescribable. All of the Grandchildren learned to take pride in who they are and where they came from, and to never stray from their core family values which she taught all of us. She always shared her life stories with them and to do their best and do some good for this world. My mom always tried to keep them on track with traditional Catholic values. She would often get frustrated with what was going on in the world in the face of those values.
My love and appreciation for my mother cannot really be put into words alone. My mother is a huge part of who I am today. She was always encouraging me to put family first but be strong every day in my career and to always help others including the poor which my mom would often do. I could not have made it through law school without her. My knowledge of art, reading and the world in general is because of what she taught me. She taught me to be a good mother, perhaps her single greatest gift to me. She wasn't the touchy feely type, or one to always say "I love you", she always had the strong exterior. However, we all knew she had extraordinary and endless love for all of us.
My mom approved of Danny which was not an easy accomplishment on Danny's part considering how protective my mom could be. She grew to adore Dan and he spent many days and nights helping my mother through her illness at her bedside. She loved his Italian cooking!! He was a tremendous support for me through the last two years. I am not sure I could have held up through it all without his love and support. Dan was so patient with her while she was sick. She grew close to Dan's son Dante and she often asked about him. Dante always brought a smile to her face.
Vitas Hospice in Stockton was responsible for giving us many extra quality months with my mom due to their expert care and compassion. One of her nurses commented that my mom was nothing but class and intelligence up until her death. We so appreciate their care and the care at Rio Las Palmas in Stockton where she lived in assisted living for the past year. They were all so fabulous and loving to my mom.
Joan was a rock and the matriarch of our family, and will be greatly missed and never forgotten.
I look forward to meeting you with my brother tomorrow at 2:45. Thank you.
Tara Mazzanti