I am on a plane to the Midwest from the desert at the moment so I figured now could be a good time for some reflection. Where the hell does time go ah? I guess maybe I've been so busy capturing all of time these past 10 years that now I look up.
I remember when I was young and I would ponder the thoughts and milestone of age 30 and I thought about a lot of things. Traveling all around as a photographer, an artist with blank moleskine books and an infinite stock of hard to find films seeking out the moments in life because even back then I knew that was something that I just had to do.It was either that or I was going to be a filmmaker actor guy who directed movies & stuff.I always just wanted to dabble in a lot of things.Its all not over yet but it feels like it has just begun :)
Back then I also always thought I would have been married with kids by now. You're like yeah I'll settle down when I'm thirty it seems like such a natural age to start doing all that.You know meet the woman of my dreams marry her buy a house have a couple of kids then settle into the rest of my merry ole life.I look around now and all of my friends are doing all that. Buying homes, married or getting married ,kids already frolicking in the sun or some that are certainly on the way & about to.I wonder if their kids will teach my kids things even though there will be quite a large age gap.Where I'm extremely satisfied and deeply happy about where I am now in my life I wonder if my friends all feel the same.I sure hope so.We all have paths and all of our paths are defiantly our own.Sometimes I can see regret in their eyes....All I know is that I don't ever want to have that in mine.Aint no way ain't no how.
I believe in true love - I also believe it will happen when it happens - I'm not worried about it. I'm more comfortable with the idea of being a 40 year old father for the first time now more then ever. Whatever I have to do to be the absolute best father I can be. I do daydream about it. I look forward to carrying on my family's name and brining life into this beautiful world with the most beautiful person that is the absolute greatest and best woman for me. All I really hope is that I am that to her & she truly knows and feels it.I think love is the most forever thing we have and we should share it together forever long after death & beyond the end of time :)
Love is a Team.The Greatest Team There Is. Championships Everyday.
Until those days come I'm just gonna continue to be on my magic carpet trying to take my dream around the world. So far so good.I can't deny that.Even better is that your inspiration is totally free
I always thought about if I would ever "make it"
when you young you say that you want to be "An Artist" & people look atcha a lil funny.
Like "huh?" "What's an artist?"
Or "You'll never be able to pay your bills, join a union,work for the city, get a pension and have benefits."
I sure got my laugh in when someone paid me $10,000.00 for 30 minutes and like 3 photographs.Success is always the greatest revenge - it really is.
Truth be told I don't do what I do for the money - yes it's important we all have bills we all have debt but I feel that all true artists don't ever do it for the joy of making a living we do it for the joy of helping to cause people to truly live :)
Or sometimes they know how hard it is and they don't want to see you struggle.
Or the worst is when you talk to artists when you are young and they say "Don't do it kid..." "You don't know what you are getting yourself into.Turn around before it's too late."
Making it as an artist is like winning the lottery. The odds of makings to as an artist are like playing professional sports. Only 1% last the times.
Sometimes people tell you things because they themselves can't do it.They don't have what it takes. What it truly takes.
Honesty I never cared about the people who swayed me away. I always just listened to what my soul said to me & those very select people that were close to me and always there to inspire me to push on through.In order for one to achieve anything one must first believe. I am also a firm believer in the mentors and even the dream killers because it's all so important. I owe some of my success to them. I owe my success to the blood sweat and tears. I owe success to what didn't work.I have truly realized that anything is possible. It really is. Something that is forever with me as a force.
I'll forever take that in my pocket to my grave
I don't think people really realize what it truly takes to thrive as an artist. Honestly I think that's good because most people can't even comprehend it - they can just enjoy the results of it :) it's true.
If I have learned anything thus far about life it is that it's important to just trust your gut, to dream, to imagine, and to never lose sight of what you want out of life. To care and live with compassion, to mold & refine your own true and genuine character For me that starts with just 1 single thing. To just be happy.Life is Amazing and we all just deserve to be happy no matter what.From there everything can grow & be taken to a deeper level. I now can say with 100% certainty that this dream I have been chasing since I was 4 years old has provided me with with most amount of pure and absolute joy and for that I am so forever thankful because it's never going to fade & now I know that not everybody gets to feel something like that.It shall be respected and it shall always be sacred.
I can look thirty in the eyes and I know that I've already done everything that I wanted to when I was young.Now it's just much more serious, more fun & about taking it all to a higher level every single day.Sometimes I don't know how I do it I just put my head down & I do it.
Vision is important.
You should just imagine your goals you must just deeply imagine everything. Where you are,where you want to be, where you came from and who you are.I can look back at my twenties and I know that I did more in more twenties then what most do in their whole life.But for me none of that matters its what we gain and what we learn from everything that does. It's about how we make the future better from the things we learned in our past.The wonders I have learned just by believing in the power of a moment and believing in my own dreams.
Sometimes life gives us so much more and our paths become real as we seek around more corners that we never thought were there.Along the way our purpose becomes so clearly defined right in front of our eyes so much so that we begin to feel it in our bones.At least this is how I feel about it all.I do feel it all in my bones.
To wrap up I'd like to share a story with you. A few weeks ago I was on the road traveling in Wyoming. I woke up early one day to photograph this really cool place I had always wanted to see in person. I'm talking about The Grand Tetons. So I began my day like how I begin everyday while on the road...: an early call time, a hot cup of coffee, & a dot on a map that is the day's sole & only objective. So I popped into a Rangers station to gather first hand info of the whole area that I was exploring that day. I love to be as prepared as I can be while photographing America. As I started to get my information from this very knowledgable guide I looked up and noticed a large Ansel Adams print on the wall above the Rangers head. I asked her. "Did Ansel Adams take that?" She replied "Why yes he did."I then asked "Is that close to here!?" She then grabbed the map I had in front of me and circled the exact location and told me it was only about 10 minutes away. I grabbed the map finished my stroll around their cool lil museum and hit the bricks to experience the sight for myself. The image that was on the wall was an image that actually inspired me to want to be a photographer.
I used to hijack my grandmothers national geographics & artists books and just sit for hours lost in the magic of nature, art and photographs. I remember one time I saw this image and it was like one of the most amazing images I had ever seen. Later on in my life when I studied black and white photography in the darkroom would I only truly understand just how special the image was.
Suddenly I found myself there in the exact spot where Ansel stood over some 60+ years prior without ever even trying to plan something as magical as this. This moment was defiantly a powerful moment for me. I sat there thinking about a lot of things. My journey, how far I've come, my mentors, my friends, my family, my Angels. My dream. I gave a few tears to the land and felt the magic for a bit before I continued to be on my way. When I say I'm just going to keep on pushing. I say that because I'm in it until it's over. There's just no turning back for me.
Thought I'd take some time and reflect as I sit here looking out of window on a plane from the desert to the Midwest.
All I hope is that my next 10 years are 10x the Past 10 and the past 10 were truly Legendary. From the bottom to the top. I don't want to stop because I can't stop.
Whatever you decide to do In life don't ever forget to dream.